Ideally, swinging is something both partners can enjoy and take part in without experiencing blame or jealousy. Couples and singles alike can swing, although single women are more desired than single men. Often, couples will decide to switch partners. It’s easy if you know other couples who are willing to do this. If not, it’s not impossible. You just have to know where to look.
Places to Meet Swingers
The first places where people will tend to look at are swinger bars, clubs, cafes, or other establishments of this type. In some cities, places like this don’t exist. Then, your best bet is looking online. It’s a good idea to register at several sites so you have a wider selection. You’ll find some couples have accounts on multiple sites. Most apps make it possible to set geographical search limits so you can search for swingers only in your location. A quick search will yield thousands of results. Among the sites people are using are swapfinder.com, swinglifestyle.com, and fling.com. Whichever site you pick, there’s a certain etiquette that needs to be followed.
Read profiles carefully before sending the first message. They should indicate what kind of people the couple is looking for and why. You shouldn’t contact them if you’re not a fit. This would be the case if you’re just curious about swinging and they’re looking for something extreme. On the other hand, if you think you’re suitable, write to them explaining why you think so. Swingers get tons of messages and they don’t reply to everyone.
Normally, first meetings take place in what’s called a “vanilla setting” in swinger terms: a public area like a café or a park. Keep in mind the meeting might lead to sex or it might not. Before you meet, you’ll probably exchange photos with the couple. Don’t send sex pictures unless specifically asked. Make a joint photo if you are a couple, but not an intimate one. If everything goes well, there’ll be plenty of time for that.
When you meet, be nice and friendly and try to engage both of them. Give a light hug or shake hands. Don’t overdo PDAs. Members of the community feel they need to build a connection so they might not be as open as you expect at first.
What Should You Talk About?
It’s best to start with neutral topics like traveling, the weather, or sports. Don’t ask them personal things right from the get-go. They don’t know you and although it is an open community, people will take measures to safeguard their privacy. Don’t insist on meeting. Ask them what they want out of an encounter to see if your interests are similar. You can discuss and clarify the details later. It’s best not to express curiosity when it comes to intimate topics.
Don’t bring up money, politics, or religion. If someone does, change the subject and gently steer the conversation back to safe topics. Topics like where they work, what they do, and where their kids go to school are best avoided as well. If the conversation is going well, you could ask them if they go to swinger clubs or bars or how they got into swinging to begin with. You can also ask them how they first met. Watch out for red flags, like if they mention other swingers they know by name. If this happens, they’ll probably tell other people they meet your name.
Don’t offer to have sex with them immediately. When you’re still chatting online, try to make the couple want to meet you. Be sociable and considerate. As with every relationship, liking happens when people have chemistry and click. When you meet, continue behaving the same way.
The Best Swinging for Beginners
There are many different types of swinging and it’s your preferences that count. The best for beginners is what’s known as soft swing, involving gentle touching, caressing, and kissing another person or people. This is a gentle introduction to swinging, where your partner is present. You’ll learn about more advanced forms like open and closed swinging as you go along.